Tuesday Night…I go to Carmella’s house to hang out, and after briefly taking a call from my mom; I realize my car registration is due…by midnight. My registration, weighing in at $198 is up from $148 the previous year. YES, UP FROM THE PREVIOUS YEAR! So I get online and try to fill out the form. It calls for my license plate number, which I can’t remember, so I walk down the street to my car to write it down, then walk back, enter it in only to find out I also need the number from the renewal form they sent me in the mail. That form was is at my house. Boo!
“Try calling” said Carmella, so I pick up the phone and call. It’s an automated male-voiced system which requires you to talk. “You can say renew a license, car registration…” “Car Registration” “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your response, you can say renew a license, car registra-“ “CAR REGISTRATION!” “Okay, you can say renew registration –“ “renew registration.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your response, you can say“ “RENEW REGISTRATION.” After struggling some more with the machine I ascertain that I still need both my license plate number and the renewal notice number. Double Boo…I decided to do it later when I got home.
I fell asleep while watching teli, and woke up at 11:30 despite the alarm I set for myself. I go home, find the notice and call back. After going through the ridiculous yelling process again I enter in my debit card number. “I’m sorry, that account cannot be located.” I try again, “I’m sorry, that account cannot be located.” Umm, yeah, so I try my credit card number. “I’m sorry, that account cannot be located.” I try one more time and then it says “Phone technicians are not able to process credit cards over the phone.” “WHAT?!!” So, I pick up my computer (it is now 11:42pm) and try to go online, but it is not working so I dash out the door, desperate to make it back to Carmella’s before midnight when the bill goes up to $133. I call her on the way and she processes it for me and prints out a confirmation. Ahh, that’s what friends are for.
Now Midnight, I get home, eager to fall into my bed and go into a deep sleep. Upon entering my room I hear a familiar sound - - My neighbour playing on the guitar. He likes to play late at night, but usually stops after 20 minutes, so I decide to hang up my recently washed clothes. He continues to play and violently bang on the ground, resulting in my floor shaking to the beat. I tried knocking on the wall to no avail. I can’t make out what he’s singing, but after 20 minutes I start contemplating my options. I think about playing my guitar back and singing loudly, but abort that plan when I realize my guitar would have to be tuned first, and since I only remember a few chords, I’d have to use my chord chart cheat sheet to play anything. And since I’m so rusty, I would probably switch chords very slowly. Then I think about singing opera really loud, but abort that plan because I’m too tired to put forth the effort. It’s 12:30 and as I deliriously fuddle around my room I consider going next door to ask him to stop. I was wearing a skimpy nightie, so I didn’t want to go..(I was too tired to realize I could just put a robe on). Then I think about how the skimpy nightie might work to my advantage, he could take pity on me and stop playing. Then I think, “What if he’s an axe murderer and this is the way he lures people in.” My roommate, Ashley, was house-sitting so if I went over there and was captured no one would know what happened to me.
So…I decided to bear with it, thinking he would stop soon. At 12:40 I hear a familiar song and start singing along. “Beauty queen of only 18 she..OH WAIT!” I think to myself, “I’m supposed to be sleeping not singing along.” Then he gets to the chorus, “she will..she will…sheeee wi-, she wi-, she wil- SHE wi-, SHE will, SHE WI-, SHEEEEEE WI-“ He can’t quite get the note on “will,” but continues to try. “WI-WI-WILL…WI-…WILL…WI-WILLLLL” I am standing staring agape at the wall. “No,” I think to myself, “this can’t be happening. He can’t possibly be trying to fix this now.” I mutter vehemently towards the wall, “12: 43 is NOT the time to work on your voice..if you can’t sing it you need to try a different key or a different song.” “she will..she will…sheeee wi-, she wi-, she wil- SHE wi-, SHE will, SHE WI-, SHEEEEEE WI-“ This goes on for a little bit..with a little strumming between tries. “WILL..WILLL” Soon, he sings a different song and I begin to pray out loud, looking up at God and beseeching Him to take pity on my tired, weary, delirious soul. Thankfully, at 12:59 exactly, I hear the guitar hit the wall and then I heard water running..maybe the shower. Doesn't matter - the singing stopped and I was able to sleep in peace. Selah.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Email from Mom
Here's an email I got yesterday:
I'm going to send Arnold(too hard to take the time to spell schwarzenegger and get it right without looking it up) after you if you continue to refuse to "PAY THE BILL!"
Anyway, LAST month's Verizon is $64.00. THIS coming month, due OCTOBER 1st, is $61.00.
I know you mentioned it, but the LATE NOTICE is here.
Both Bills will be $125.00.
You working -- Pay Yo' Bills.
der mutter
I'm going to send Arnold(too hard to take the time to spell schwarzenegger and get it right without looking it up) after you if you continue to refuse to "PAY THE BILL!"
Anyway, LAST month's Verizon is $64.00. THIS coming month, due OCTOBER 1st, is $61.00.
I know you mentioned it, but the LATE NOTICE is here.
Both Bills will be $125.00.
You working -- Pay Yo' Bills.
der mutter
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Trader Joe's Woes #2 & Memories of Childhood with Dad
The scene: Friday, 12pm; Running into TJ's for some snacks to take to my beloved Getty center.
I pride myself on how quickly I can find items in the store. In fact, it's like a game to me. How quickly can I collect the items on my list? I think partly it's because I don't like shopping, so getting in and out is usually my shopping style. But, thinking about it, it goes back to when I was a teenager and my family would stop at the grocery store on the way home. My mom, brother and I would wait in the car while we sent my dad in to get a few items. This became more like a game over the years because my dad would take FOREVER to get a few items. It was a little unbelievable. Sometimes one of us kids would go in with him, but it never made it any faster.
My dad loves to shop. (I take after my mom on this, she hates to shop) He loves to walk the aisles and add random items to the cart. We would take bets in the car on how long he'd be in the store. My strategy was to multiply the number of items we would ask him to get by 5 and then add 10. I figured it took him 5 minutes to get each item and then 5 minutes to get a random item and 5 minutes in line. While sitting in the car, we would even imagine his route in the store. In our heads he never went in any logical order. He'd start by the fruit and then go all the way to the other side to get some milk and then back to the fruit side to get some salad dressing, then all the way back to get bread and then, who knows, go aisle by aisle to see if there was something new or perhaps to jog his memory. See, Dad ALWAYS forgot one item. ALWAYS. After a while we started writing the list down for him, but even then it seems he forgot something. It really was a game, and we had rules:
So anyway, that is where I get my need to be fast in stores, I'm sure of it. So I run in, get what I need at Trader Joes except for sweet potato chips, which I cannot find. I re-start my scan of the various chips. Nothing. I look around for an employee; seeing none, I scan again. Defeated, I pick up unsalted peanut-butter-filled pretzels(Later proved to be nasty) and head for a short line.
The guy starts to scan my items and I ask "Do you carry sweet potato chips here?"
The woman who was in front of me, who was putting her receipt away says with a very loud voice, "Yes they do!"
The cashier looks unsure.
"Hmm," I say to the cashier, "I didn't see them, where are they?"
"Over.." he's interrupted by the woman.
"They're just down the aisle. Look, that way," she points. "You just go straight down and over and it's on the left hand side with all the chips!"
"Yeah," says the cashier.
"I looked there," I say to them both. "They weren't there."
"I know they have them!" yells the woman, "I saw them just the other day!"
"Yeah, I think we have them," says the cashier. I look at him thinking, 'well why don't you go get them.' But, as I like to get in and out of stores, I let it go. I do, however look at the man in line behind me for support.
"It's fine.." I say.
"No, I know they have them!" Says the woman, who has just been standing there waiting for me to abandon my items to go back and get the chips.
"Hey guys!" says the cashier to 3 employees standing idly by. "Do we sell sweet potato chips?"
2 of the workers look puzzled. One, wearing a different coloured shirt and looks like a manager, says emphatically, "No."
"Oh" say the cashier and the woman, pretty much at the same time.
"But you had some the other day!" says the woman.
"I'm fine, I'm just getting this." I say to the cashier and swipe my card. He's not paying attention to me so I say it again, louder.
"I'm just getting this."
I get cash back and thankfully this time there are no problems with the cash drawer. After initialing my receipt I turn to leave and the woman is still talking to the manager, insisting on the existence of sweet potato chips in this store. I walk past her and she follows me telling me how hooked she is on Trader Joe's and how she comes twice a week.
"Ah," I say. "I usually go to another location....well, have a good day."
I head to my car and laugh as soon I shut the door. I laugh and I laugh!
I pride myself on how quickly I can find items in the store. In fact, it's like a game to me. How quickly can I collect the items on my list? I think partly it's because I don't like shopping, so getting in and out is usually my shopping style. But, thinking about it, it goes back to when I was a teenager and my family would stop at the grocery store on the way home. My mom, brother and I would wait in the car while we sent my dad in to get a few items. This became more like a game over the years because my dad would take FOREVER to get a few items. It was a little unbelievable. Sometimes one of us kids would go in with him, but it never made it any faster.
My dad loves to shop. (I take after my mom on this, she hates to shop) He loves to walk the aisles and add random items to the cart. We would take bets in the car on how long he'd be in the store. My strategy was to multiply the number of items we would ask him to get by 5 and then add 10. I figured it took him 5 minutes to get each item and then 5 minutes to get a random item and 5 minutes in line. While sitting in the car, we would even imagine his route in the store. In our heads he never went in any logical order. He'd start by the fruit and then go all the way to the other side to get some milk and then back to the fruit side to get some salad dressing, then all the way back to get bread and then, who knows, go aisle by aisle to see if there was something new or perhaps to jog his memory. See, Dad ALWAYS forgot one item. ALWAYS. After a while we started writing the list down for him, but even then it seems he forgot something. It really was a game, and we had rules:
1. "Send Dad into the store" always had to be late at night, usually when we all were slightly tired, but going to go home and watch a movie, play a game, or do something as a family. There had to be a sense of urgency.
2. Never give Dad more than 5 items. If we needed more than 5, one of the kids must go in with him.
3. Have him repeat the list, twice. Sometimes we would break into laughter because Dad wouldn't remember the first thing on the list. "Okay, what are you getting?" "Uhhhh...uhhhh" everyone laughs, including Dad. "Just a minute, okay...I know...uhhhh." More laughter ensues.
4. As soon as Dad walks into the store we note the time.
5. Place opening guesses on how long Dad would be in the store. If I remember correctly, my brother always had high hopes for Dad, Mom would usually say an hour and I always used my 5 minute per item method.
6. After David's (my brother's) guess was proved wrong we'd all adjust our guesses. Guesses were also reset when after 5 -10 minutes my dad would come out, empty handed because he forgot the checkbook or what he was supposed to get. This would also trigger laughter. And not just a little, I'm talkin' about uncontrollable, afraid you're going to wet your pants laughter.
7. To pass the time we'd play car games or talk about our day or sing silly songs for about 20 minutes, then we'd start whining and imagining Dad's route.
8. After 30 minutes a child was sent in to find Dad. Sometimes Dad and one of us would come out together, or sometimes we came out on our own.."(Sigh) He's going to be a while yet."
9. After 40-45 minutes we'd all pretend to be mad. "Oh come on!! What is taking him so long?" "By the time we get home we're all going to want to go to bed!"
10. The first one to spot Dad yelled "There he is!" We would announce the winner and then buckle our seat belts and prepare to hear the story of what took him so long. There was always a story.
11. We didn't inspect the bags until we got home when we would discover what was missing and what extra things dad picked up. "Oh Owen!" my mom would always exclaim, as if she didn't expect there to be unnecessary items added. Game over
So anyway, that is where I get my need to be fast in stores, I'm sure of it. So I run in, get what I need at Trader Joes except for sweet potato chips, which I cannot find. I re-start my scan of the various chips. Nothing. I look around for an employee; seeing none, I scan again. Defeated, I pick up unsalted peanut-butter-filled pretzels(Later proved to be nasty) and head for a short line.
The guy starts to scan my items and I ask "Do you carry sweet potato chips here?"
The woman who was in front of me, who was putting her receipt away says with a very loud voice, "Yes they do!"
The cashier looks unsure.
"Hmm," I say to the cashier, "I didn't see them, where are they?"
"Over.." he's interrupted by the woman.
"They're just down the aisle. Look, that way," she points. "You just go straight down and over and it's on the left hand side with all the chips!"
"Yeah," says the cashier.
"I looked there," I say to them both. "They weren't there."
"I know they have them!" yells the woman, "I saw them just the other day!"
"Yeah, I think we have them," says the cashier. I look at him thinking, 'well why don't you go get them.' But, as I like to get in and out of stores, I let it go. I do, however look at the man in line behind me for support.
"It's fine.." I say.
"No, I know they have them!" Says the woman, who has just been standing there waiting for me to abandon my items to go back and get the chips.
"Hey guys!" says the cashier to 3 employees standing idly by. "Do we sell sweet potato chips?"
2 of the workers look puzzled. One, wearing a different coloured shirt and looks like a manager, says emphatically, "No."
"Oh" say the cashier and the woman, pretty much at the same time.
"But you had some the other day!" says the woman.
"I'm fine, I'm just getting this." I say to the cashier and swipe my card. He's not paying attention to me so I say it again, louder.
"I'm just getting this."
I get cash back and thankfully this time there are no problems with the cash drawer. After initialing my receipt I turn to leave and the woman is still talking to the manager, insisting on the existence of sweet potato chips in this store. I walk past her and she follows me telling me how hooked she is on Trader Joe's and how she comes twice a week.
"Ah," I say. "I usually go to another location....well, have a good day."
I head to my car and laugh as soon I shut the door. I laugh and I laugh!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Trader Joe's Woes #1
Oh yes, Trader Jose's. We all love this place, well, except for the crazy cramped parking lots and the crowded aisles, but other than that, we love this place right? So, Wednesday morning, Michelle's birthday, I decide to stop there to get her some flowers. I was stuck in traffic for a while, and thus already late, so I thought, "I'll run in and out and make her day."
I pick a beautiful wine-coloured bunch of Gerber daises and grab 2 birthday cards. (It was Christian's birthday also.) For some reason TJ's was jam packed. Every line had at least 3 people in it. I join a line and wait for what usually happens -- A cute cashier sees me, comes over and says "I can open up a line for you" and takes me to a vacant check-out counter and we exchange pleasantries. Sure enough, a cute guy donning a blue Trader Joe's shirt comes over and takes me to the empty counter to the right. He quickly scans my flowers and cards and I swipe my card and use the attached stylus to request some cash back. This is where it all stops.
Cute cashier prints receipt. It says "No Sale."
"Thank you," I say and carefully take my time to place my cash in an envelope and then inside my wallet. I take my time because at this point my cashier is not even behind the counter, he's over to the side talking to the manager.
Now, woman behind me and man who spotted the dollar start griping about Michael Jackson. Dollar man begins to check out.
"I'm really sorry..bet you wish you'd stayed in that line huh?"
I look up, trying to be nice. "Oh, it's okay." Just then the manager bellows,
I turn to the woman behind me and recommend she move to the other line. The one that's actually moving.
Dollar man starts to leave. Manager runs back.
I pick a beautiful wine-coloured bunch of Gerber daises and grab 2 birthday cards. (It was Christian's birthday also.) For some reason TJ's was jam packed. Every line had at least 3 people in it. I join a line and wait for what usually happens -- A cute cashier sees me, comes over and says "I can open up a line for you" and takes me to a vacant check-out counter and we exchange pleasantries. Sure enough, a cute guy donning a blue Trader Joe's shirt comes over and takes me to the empty counter to the right. He quickly scans my flowers and cards and I swipe my card and use the attached stylus to request some cash back. This is where it all stops.
"Uhhh" I hear.
"What's wrong"
"I uh, I can't get the drawer to open."
"Oh"
"Yeah, it's stuck or something."
"Oh no," I say with a little nervous, how long is this going to take laugh.
"Yeah, um, it won't...Hey_______!!!(name I don't remember), I need your key, the drawer won't open."At this point, I look to my right and see the person who was standing in line in front of me (at the other register) is starting to check out. My cute cashier tells the woman currently in line behind me to move to the other line because the machine is having problems. He walks over, retrieves the key, comes back and begins to jiggle it around in the keyhole.
"Huh"This is where it gets funny. I turn around and the person at my former register is leaving and now the person who was in line behind me at the former register is going through. I turn back around when I hear,
"Not working huh?"
"No, the key, it's, it's not opening."
SILENCE
"Umm...Hey _______!!(name I don't remember) it's not working!"Manager comes over to inspect, turn, jiggle key several times.
"Yeah," he says, annoyed.He lifts up the receipt printer, the cords are loose.
"They didn't plug half the stuff in properly," he says even more annoyed.At this point, another person completes their purchase in my former line behind me.
"They didn't?" asks the cashier.
"No," says the Manager as he screws in the cords.
"Okay, try it again," says the manager.Cashier turns the key, success! Well, the drawer opened at least.
"Sorry about that, here you go," he says as he hands me my cash.PAUSE - At Trader Joe's, when you get cash back you must initial the receipt. Here's where it gets really funny.
Cute cashier prints receipt. It says "No Sale."
"Oh no"He starts messing with the screen. I start to put my cash away and drop it. I bend down to pick it up and as my hand reaches for a $1 bill I hear "Hey, you dropped a dollar," from a man I haven't seen before in the line next to me. He's about to be rung up.
"Not the right one?"
"Yeah, this is a no sale"
"Ah.."
"Let me see."
"Thanks," I reply, turning to get the rest of the money.I turn, and sure enough, I dropped another bill behind me.
"There's a big bill on the floor."
"Thanks," I reply to a woman who has now queued up behind me in my line.
"It's behind you."
"Thank you," I say and carefully take my time to place my cash in an envelope and then inside my wallet. I take my time because at this point my cashier is not even behind the counter, he's over to the side talking to the manager.
Now, woman behind me and man who spotted the dollar start griping about Michael Jackson. Dollar man begins to check out.
The manager yells over "do you know how much your total was?"Cute Cashier is back and looks chagrined. He sheepishly says to me,
"uh..I don't know..30 something? 34?"
"It's okay, I'll find it."
"I'm really sorry..bet you wish you'd stayed in that line huh?"
I look up, trying to be nice. "Oh, it's okay." Just then the manager bellows,
"KATHERINE?!"
"Yes, that's me"
"Got it!"
"He's printing it now." says the cashier.
I turn to the woman behind me and recommend she move to the other line. The one that's actually moving.
"Oh!" She says. "I was too busy gossiping to notice the line was stopped." I smile and turn my head, I rather agree.It's from the dollar man, I guess intimating to the manager and my cashier that they should thank me. I am caught off guard by the outburst and his volume level.
"So, you got all your money?" Says the dollar man, now paying for his groceries.
"Yes, thank you...but I don't have my receipt."
"Ha, sorry, can't help with that!"
I turn back and see the manager coming over with my receipt.
"If you could please initial here."
"Sure"
From behind me we hear, "THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!"
"Thank you, sorry about this," they both say, talking over each other.The manager hurries to his desk and putsthe paper on a little desktop scanner.
"It's okay, really, it's all right."
"I'll have to make you a copy, just a minute."
Dollar man starts to leave. Manager runs back.
"Again, I'm really sorry."Dollar man is slolwly pushing his cart, now on the phone. I smile and say bye as I fold up the full-sized paper copy of my receipt. All I can do is laugh.
"It's fine, have a good day" I say, smiling, maybe smirking a bit, wondering how late I am now.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
My Lord, what a mornting!
June 6th -
Woke up at 6am to Ashley’s phone alarm and my phone alarm going off. Her alarm is "Just Wanna Say" by Israel Houghton and mine is some classical sounding song that came with my phone. We both pressed snooze. A little bit later Ashley's went off, then mine went off, then Ashley’s, then mine and so on...finally one of us got up – Ashley. I lay in bed wondering why my stomach was so messed up, recounting what I ate yesterday. Hmm let’s see, salad with chicken and uh, salad with chicken. I also had about 10 baked sweet potato fries. I went back to sleep hoping to feel better, but thinking I would have to take a sick day. Woke up at 8:30 still feeling sick, but thinking it would be too hard to explain what had to be done from home, so I got up and got ready.
Leaving the house I made some English Breakfast tea to take with me and started to walk out the door, then I came back remembering I was going for a walk after work and needed some other clothes. So, after grabbing those clothes I set off toward the parking garage. Now, I don’t like to walk through the building to the elevator to the garage, instead I take a short cut and go down the steps and go to a little lock box to open the garage gate with my key. It’s a balancing act what with my overstuffed purse, laptop in my laptop bag (with a few other things in it), thermos of tea, shorts and shirt and tennis shoes with socks. I turn the key in the lock and the gate opens, I walk in and then stop instantly. I realize I haven’t parked in the garage..I’ve parked on the street. For our apartment, we have 2 parking spaces for 3 people so we often we are trying to honour each other by leaving a space open, but sometimes only 1 or none of us park there..usually we text each other, but if we don’t this is what happens. Last night only 1 of us parked there. :)
So now, realizing I have to walk to my car, I re-position my things and head to my car..as I walk I remember I’ve forgotten all the food I bought from the night before..ahhh! So I get in my car, drive up to my place, run upstairs get my bag full o’ food and run back down again. As I drive, all is well, I’m praying, ready to get to work. I take a drink of my tea and I realize apparently the seal is broken as it trickles out of the top and onto my white shirt. Ahhh good times! All I could do was laugh, and laugh hard!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Hmm...Penta water and curly hair
So, unfortunately I haven't blogged for a while..I've had so many stories, but alas, not the time to blog about it. What I found amusing yesterday was purchasing a bottle of Penta water at whole foods and being questioned about why I was buying this uber expensive water. I explained the filtration process and the health benefits and how it's prescribed to people with certain illnesses..I tried to just end it by saying it makes me feel better when I'm dehydrated..I even agreed to try the Whole Foods brand of water the next time, but no...the guy at the checkout counter insisted on giving me a bottle so I could try it.
Another thing I remember about this week was the copious amounts of comments my straight hair got on Sunday..Hugs from people with a confused and disappointed look on their face followed by "what happened to your curly hair?" were all too common. Finally, after being asked that for about the 15th time, I reacted with "I decided to have my hair straight today, okay!!" Surprised by my reaction, I had to over smile to try to get the person to believe I wasn't actually upset with them..sigh..anywho, going to bed now..I'm drinking the Whole Foods water, and it tastes good, but it's nothing like my Penta.
Another thing I remember about this week was the copious amounts of comments my straight hair got on Sunday..Hugs from people with a confused and disappointed look on their face followed by "what happened to your curly hair?" were all too common. Finally, after being asked that for about the 15th time, I reacted with "I decided to have my hair straight today, okay!!" Surprised by my reaction, I had to over smile to try to get the person to believe I wasn't actually upset with them..sigh..anywho, going to bed now..I'm drinking the Whole Foods water, and it tastes good, but it's nothing like my Penta.
Friday, February 20, 2009
CA Night
So, this week at Creative Arts night Michelle talked about forgiveness and Dan talked about the men of the CA and how we have to personally take responsibility for our relationship with Christ. And that even though our church may be fun, and present things in a way that appeal to the entertainment industry (um, we ARE in Hollywood), we love God, and no one should doubt for a moment that are hearts aren't in it and sincere.
Such good stuff...of course, there would be a sitcom moment - and that was during announcements. I was proudly wearing my Doctor Who shirt with David Tennant and Freema Agyeman (or The Doctor and Martha) on it and Dave Grieder grabs the mic and tells everyone I was on a panel at the conference over the weekend. All good, until he says "that's where she was on Valentine's day!!" And Michelle says "Dave! That's not right." Then his wife starts shaking her head and James Blake yells from the front row "why are you engaged yet?!" Ahh...and embarrasment ensued. Although, I wasn't actually that embarrassed, so I think I've just gotten used to the hilarity of my life.
Such good stuff...of course, there would be a sitcom moment - and that was during announcements. I was proudly wearing my Doctor Who shirt with David Tennant and Freema Agyeman (or The Doctor and Martha) on it and Dave Grieder grabs the mic and tells everyone I was on a panel at the conference over the weekend. All good, until he says "that's where she was on Valentine's day!!" And Michelle says "Dave! That's not right." Then his wife starts shaking her head and James Blake yells from the front row "why are you engaged yet?!" Ahh...and embarrasment ensued. Although, I wasn't actually that embarrassed, so I think I've just gotten used to the hilarity of my life.
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